Atonement

What I will write has nothing to do with the title, it's just that I saw the movie and it got me thinking, mostly about love.  Love is a gift from God.  In life, you will think that you're in love a few times and most of the time, you're going to think that it's the one.  However, you can never be sure.  My theory about that is that, there will be some people who love you and you won't love back, and there will be people you love who won't love you back.  It's when you meet someone who loves you equally that it's the one, and the chances of this are so slim, that you should always take the chance when it comes knocking.

We are all so focused on our careers, on doing this and that, on having things, that when we fall in love, we tend to put it aside and focus on other things first.  Maybe it's fear that keeps us this way.  We're just afraid that the person we love doesn't feel the same as we do.  In old movies, we see people falling in love, then being parted by war and coming back together in the end, but you will notice that when this happens, it's usually the first love and when you're in love for the first time, everything seems like it's just going to be perfect.  After the first heartbreak, the belief falters and logic and reason steps in. 

There is no logic to love.  There is no reason.  It just happens when you least expect it to happen, and when you complicate it with thoughts of what can go wrong, you're just setting up boundaries for yourself.  If you notice, this usually happens earlier on in the relationship. Why?  Because like me, you are afraid.  You're afraid that if you love someone too much, the person will pick up and leave, and you'll be heartbroken - again.  Pain though, has it's own beauty.  It reminds you that you loved once, and that you're still capable of feeling.  Tears are not a sign of weakness, it's just a sign to remind you that you're strong enough to let your emotions take over.

I'm so guilty of letting logic and reason take over my emotions when I start to fall in love.  I've learned the art of holding my emotions and affections in, and you might think it keeps me safe, but the truth is, the only thing I feel by doing that is a deep sense of regret.  The touches I held back, the kisses I stopped myself from sharing, the words I never said, have now all turned into regrets.  We live our lives in moments, and there are some moments when life brings to us this gift of love.  To me, that is the greatest gift of all. 

You can have a career wherever you go.  You can have a house, a car, a pet, only if you would work hard enough.  But love, you can't find it.  It has to find you, so when it does, I hope you don't close the door and shut love out with excuses.  Welcome it as you would a guest you've waited for all your life.